Brenda looked over my shoulder once to see what I was reading that made me chuckle. I told her it was an off-color joke involving the number 68. As it happened, she noticed that this joke appeared on page 68 of the book I was reading.
"You should probably play the lottery," she encouraged.
I responded, "I don't believe in stuff like that."
She asked, "Why not? It's better than most reasons."
So, I told her a story that happened before we were married.
Once, I woke up at 5:55 a.m. The temperature was 55 degrees and the humidity was 55%. I turned the TV to channel 5 and when I got up, saw that the date was May 5th. I thought it was a little creepy.
So, I go to work and see that my odometer read 55,555.5 miles. I get to work, go to the fifth floor and find I have 5 messages.
So, IT DAWNS ON ME!
I rushed to the racetrack. My entrance ticket cost me $5.00 and I'm ushered to Section 5, Row 5, Seat 5. In the fifth race, I pick the fifth horse. And with an understanding that Fate had spoken, I put my entire bank account on it.
Brenda was sure that I had won.
Anticlimactically, I told her, "My horse came in fifth. Therefore..."


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

The Naked Samaritan

Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: Did I ever tell you I posed nude for an art class? Me: Really?! (after recovering from shock) I had a college friend who posed for some extra money. Go »

I'll Have The Misogyny Au Gratin, Please

We were having dinner with my nephew the other night and the conversation steered toward his numerous relationships. He replied with that standard chauvinistic response, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" My wife looked at him directly and retorted, "Yeah, why buy the whole pig for just a little sausage?" Go »

Steve's Supermarket Adventure

Or...How I Tried To Get Myself Banned From Safeway Shopping at my local Safeway is usually a pleasant experience. Few crowds at 10:00 at night, plenty of quality choices, reasonable pricing, etc. Go »

The Five Stages Of Patriots Grief

The Giants are the greatest 10-6 team of all time! Go »

Dumb Criminals And Other Court Type Stuff

Small potpourri of MENSA reject criminals, frivolous lawsuits and just dumb laws. Cupcake Burglar; Cheeseburger Lawsuit; Drunken Sock Eater; Saggy Trouser Law; and Goofy Streaker. The most shocking story to me is this last one in which a victimized Kirsten Dunst had her room burgled and items stolen including a $13,000 handbag. Go »

An Open Letter to Trump Voters

I'm not mad at you that Clinton lost; I didn't vote for her either. I'm unconcerned that we have different politics. And I don't think less of you because you vote one way and I vote another. Go »