Recent conversation with Brenda:

(After a massage and dinner as a birthday gift from her sister) me: How was everything?

Brenda: I'm gonna be sore for the next few days. I made the mistake of asking for medium pressure.

me: I guess each massage parlor has its own definition of pressure like restaurants have for medium rare. Now the massage parlor I go to...

Brenda: I don't want to hear about the massage parlor you go to.

me: But they're the best! I think they invented the extremely localized shiatsu massage technique. They use it to squeeze bills from your wallet. Where was dinner?

Brenda: Don Pablo's (a local mexican restaurant).

me: I hope dinner was after the massage 'cause if you eat mexican and then have a beefy swedish lady squeeze you...

Brenda: Dinner was after the massage so stop now.

me: I'm just sayin'. So what was the massage lady wearing?

Brenda: I'm going away now.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Just My Lucky Day, I Guess

Weekly shopping trips have been largely uneventful of late because of the absence of you know who, UOAS. She kind of startled me with her presence at the Safeway tonight and I wondered if God specifically was observing my sense of satisfaction over her MIA status. She noted my surprised expression and commented, "Long time no see!" Go »

Real Life Comedy/Tragedy

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: Why did you marry me? Brenda: Because you're funny, Me: I thought it was because I was good in bed. Brenda: You see? Go »

A Guy Walks Into A Bar...

That is the opening line to a joke with a genre all its own. Here are a dozen I found at various sites around the web. 1. Go »

I'll Have the Seven Deadly Sins Combo

Funny chart that shows the resultant interactions of each of the seven deadly sins. Go »

Guardians x 2

Brenda and I completed a court appearance via Zoom meeting that determined we were Olivia's official guardians. Actually the court is her guardian and we are the court's agents. We are guardians of person and property. Go »

Speaking Of Tattoos...

"She Who Must Be Obeyed" (my wife) has graciously allowed me to alter my flesh by getting a tattoo. Much thought has gone into this. David Spade put it well after getting a Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes tattoo on his shoulder. Go »