Hi, all!

This will be the second blog I've authored and the fourth blog with which I've been involved as an author, and I still haven't really worked out just what to say in these introductory posts. As most of you know, though, I'm wordy enough once I get rolling that content shouldn't be a problem. Expect much ranting, idle musing, and occasional really awful jokes.

Also, since this is a goo-related site, I'm running a modest game with my post titles, which will follow some sort of rule or other. If someone guesses the rule, I'll credit them, and a new series of post titles with a different rule will start up, with the first of the series always marked by a star (*). The title of the blog should give you an idea of what sorts of themes or rules I like to come up with.

Yet, For Some Reason, a Journal Doesn't Seem Public Enough
Hipster boy #1: I've decided to start a blog.
Hipster boy #2: It's about time!
Hipster boy #1: I know. And I'm not doing it because of the peer pressure. It's just for me.
--Bowery Ballroom, Delancey St.
via Overheard in New York,


Berserk Wig

Legend has it that Kris Weberg's head is filled with delicious candy, which is why he avoids blindfolded children carrying sticks. Fortunately for you, he's decided to empty the leftovers here at his blog for your amusement and bemusement. Read more »

* 'Round Midnight

First things first: Megan Baxter wins round 1 of the "guess the subject line themes" game. Go Megan! I'll keep a running tally of wins. Go »

Natural Deselection

Every so often, something happens to you that makes you realize nature or God or whatever else you attribute your existence to apparently goes to work drunk sometimes. And sometimes that realization makes you post long, boring blog entries that people only read in hopes of getting clues for a prize-free post-title game. Clues that aren't actually there. Go »

Nominal Returns on Unfulfilled Promises

Well, I obviously never got around to any poetry over the last week, due to too much reading and not enough sleeping. And to make up for that, here's some fun for everyone. Go »

Constructible Comedy

It strikes me that one of the great untapped ideas for a Web doohickey would be a Groundskeeper Willie Insult Generator. Given the sheer amount of Simpsons geekery online, you'd think at least one of those Cheeto-gorging leet-speakers would have worked out a word bank and a java program to generate an endless string of phrases in the form "[NOUN]-[VERB]ing [NOUN]-[VERB]er" by now. Insights Into Failed Comedy, Part 1: Originally, the example insult in this entry was "Cheetoh-munching," but munching really doesn't conjure up the ghastly -- and thus funny! Go »

Like, Real Gone, Daddy-O

I've been fairly busy for the last several days, going through writing-tutor training for Fall, reading for exams, and using Go »

Imaginary Exploits of a Hairpiece Gone Mad

I stop blogging for a week to read up on political theology, and the world goes awry: planets vanish from the heavens, fantasy football gains a stereotypically "feminine" counterpart, and America's children become catastrophically dumber. And the worst of it is, I haven't really got much to post about in my life, unless someone here is up for a discussion of Walter Benjamin's metaphor of the automaton and the dwarf, which is nowhere near as funny as the dirty joke you probably just made up while reading that phrase. (See, there's this chess-playing automaton, and it represents historical materialism, but the machine is animated by a hidden dwarf who represents theology....oh, Go »