Why Squeezeable Bottles Suck....
by Adrianne Rodgers on October 5, 2006
Scott's right, it would be hard to get tuna into them. But why oh why oh why oh why must they design those bottles to be so evil? You squeeze and squeeze them, and they only make farting sounds. But you keep trying, and then, with no warning whatsoever, the condiment comes shooting out like a white, purple, red or yellow laser beam, effectively ending the career of a perfectly good shirt, creating a foodstuff mural on the ceiling, and coating the bread until it practically liquifies right there on the cutting board. Adrianne always finds something to hate about everything. If ever I arrive in true paradise, I will be content for about two hours, then I'll be on the phone with my friends back home, telling them about how you can't find a decent pizza to save your life.
One Reply to Why Squeezeable Bottles Suck....
AdriRant
Adrianne Rodgers complains about life and all its little nuisances. Read more »
The United States of Walmart
Walmart: Worst. Store. Ever. Go »Adrianne's Dumbest Goo Moments
1. Guessed Lou Ferrigno for Steve Michalik 2. Very nearly guessed Anita Barone for Brittany Snow 3. Go »A List of Things That Tick Me Off
1. Crusty old binnies who accuse the current generation of being selfish as they don mink coats and drive down to Florida in Lexus convertibles with lambskin seats. 2. Go »I Got Tuna Fish In The Mayonnaise
Which is far worse than getting jelly in the peanut butter. The spot of tuna has begun to fester and spread, leaving a repulsive brown stain. Lunch is ruined. Go »Empty Ice Trays..
From the looks of things, you'd think it takes an advanced degree to refill an ice cube tray. I guess if I don't want to spend the next half hour skimming ice slivers off of sluggishly freezing cube slots, I might as well just go out and buy a ten pound bag. What do you mean, I'm the only one who lives here?!?!? Go »
Scott Hardie | October 6, 2006
Everybody has their own solution for getting ketchup out of the glass bottle in the restaurant – tap on the 57! shake the bottle! work it out with a knife! – and of course their own solution only works for them. It's kind of like hiccups in that way. Thus, I say this knowing that it might only work for me, but I get the most out of my squeezeable bottles by tapping them lid-down on the counter a few times before I flip them open and squeeze. It drops all of the insides to the other end of the bottle where I want them. Oh how I wish the 15-year-olds at the local Subway would learn to do that with the mayonnaise bottle so that they don't give up after a few futile squeezes produce little more for my sandwich than the familiar farting sound.